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| You have to keep reading to see all the before and after pictures. |
I share my struggles with my weight and body image in the
hopes that it helps someone somewhere. It isn't always easy to be so
transparent and to put personal things about myself in print, but I am a
teacher by trade and our nature is to help people.
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| This was during my Wanna-be Barbie phase that I discuss in How Blondes Made Me Fat |
When I physically looked my best, I
was extremely unhealthy. My size was not earned through proper nutrition, exercise,
and dedication. I loved junk and I hated exercise and in reality, I did not
like myself.
As I matured, I thought that I had
overcome being so self-destructive. I didn’t. I just change my modus operandi
(method of operation). I was still consuming processed junk and was still
leading a very sedentary life. Although I thought that I was doing less harm to
myself, I was becoming more and more unhealthy. With a Body Mass Index (BMI) of
38.4, I was at risk for an array of things that I was already genetically predisposed
to having, specifically diabetes and heart disease.
From 2001 to 2014, I tried a
plethora of diets and fads. The specific ones are not important because the
issue was me and my relationship with my food and my health. Most of the things
that I tried had made me feel sluggish or jittery. I found ways to cheat around
the restrictions or guidelines of other ones.
The only “diet” that had worked in
all those years was the dreaded “Divorce Diet.” I lost 47 lbs. In 2009 while
going through my divorce and I can assure you that the weight loss from that
was not healthy at all. Anyone who has been through a divorce knows the illness
that comes with that much of a life change. I was deteriorating physically, as
well as mentally.
Fast forward to six months post-divorce
and I was right back to my BMI of 38.4.
I had fallen in love with someone
who truly loved who I was and thought that I was beautiful no matter what size
I was, what I wore, or how my make-up looked. He loved my heart. Yet, I looked
at myself and was disgusted. I was uncomfortable and ashamed.
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| The picture that hurt me. |
My middle sister got married in
September of 2013. It was this picture that made me decide that something was
going to have to change. I had honestly believed that I looked cute that day;
the pictures showed otherwise. My features were getting lost to the roundness
of my face!!!!
In January of this year, a hot, new
gym was opening down the road. When I went to cancel an existing membership,
the rep said, “Oh! I see it has been 453 days since you last came to the gym
and it doesn’t look like you came but a couple of times during your three years
as a member. How is this new gym going to change your desire to get fit?” I
hated that I couldn’t hide the red that was rising from my neck to my cheeks
and tears rolled down my face as I cancelled the membership. He actively tried
to apologize and explain that it was a mentality and not a station. I wasn’t
hearing it! Obviously, it was the place, right?
I started the hot, new gym with full
gusto. Yet, I wasn’t focusing on myself. I was focusing on the thin girl who
looked adorable in her workout clothes and the woman that was much larger than
me, but was actually running on the treadmill. I tucked my tail and cancelled
my membership because I chose to compare myself to others, not knowing their
journey, instead of giving myself the gift of health.
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| Excuses I found at the gym included a jealousy and a feeling of inferiority of women shaped like this. |
In February, I was told that my
blood pressure was getting dangerously high and that I needed to make drastic
changes or I was going to have to start taking medicine. My blood sugar was
also higher than it should be for the first time in my life. Knowing that my
grandmother died of heart disease at the age of 64, I got scared. I looked at
my 7 year old son and thought, “What am I teaching him?”
I went back to the old gym. The same
guy was there and he was so eager to talk to me and explain himself once again.
I simply nodded, but I knew that this time was going to be different because
that doctor’s warning and those numbers were what I saw now in place of the
thin young lady in spandex and the bigger person running.
I began consuming less junk and
giving way to the gym. I couldn’t do much at first and sometimes I would cry in
the parking lot because I felt like such a failure. On days that I couldn’t
emotionally face the gym, I went for walks in the park with my son instead. I
just knew that I had to keep moving.
What I didn’t know was that all of the diet cokes and the
processed foods that I thought were acceptable were still causing me troubles. I
had managed to lose just about weight and throw off my BMI down to 33.8, but it
wasn’t enough to begin lifting the blood pressure and blood sugar problems. Plus,
my weight had plateaued. I was stuck and I needed to do something different.
At the same time that I was getting
annoyed with all my friends for posting about weight-loss on social media, I
was researching every item they were discussing. I had to find an answer. A
good friend of mine had found a product that she said was changing her life. “Isn’t
that what they always say?” is what I thought.
Two days later, a science instructor
at my school spoke to me about the same matter. She even said the same thing,
but she had a slightly more scientific perspective on it. I looked at her and
said, “There is no way that I can live with coffee and cokes for over a 24 hour
period.” She simply articulated, “Yes, you can.”
I researched the information on my
own and decided to try this one last thing before talking to my doctor about
weight-loss surgery, which I did qualify for at the time. I thought that it
would be better to invest in myself a little bit before taking out a loan for
surgery.
IT WAS THE BEST DECISION THAT I EVER MADE FOR MYSELF!!!!
I started Advocare on May 1, 2014.
My two friends were not lying or seeking personal gain when they shared that
Advocare had changed their lives. In four days, I began to feel better. It is
difficult to explain, but I physically felt a calmness in body, nevertheless I
had energy. I had no jitters and no periods of being sluggish. That was
definitely a first.
The difference was that I wasn’t
simply on some diet plan. I was on the path to a lifestyle change. I was
discovering how to feed my body the nutrients that it needed and breaking away
from the processed and carbonated junk that had ruined my self-confidence and
body for so long. I liked how I felt and that was plenty for me. I couldn’t possibly
imagine the changes that were waiting for me 20 days down the road.
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| This was my little guy's first belt testing a few years ago. He still loves it and he motivates me. |
About a week after starting
Advocare, my 7 year old said, “Mommy, when are we going to stop eating healthy?
I want to start having McDonald’s all the time again.” I had not put my son on
a diet, then don’t imagine that. However, because I was cooking for myself, I
started to incorporate “clean eating” at the family table. My heart immediately
dropped. I had done a great disservice to my child. My son is slim because he
is very active (like all boys are at all times) and he takes Taekwondo. Yet, I
had allowed him to indulge on fast food and processed to the point that it was
all he wanted. My lesson on Day 7 was that it was my job to model proper
nutrition and exercise for my son. I was further motivated.
Let’s take a time out to talk numbers because that is what everyone really wants to know.
Day 1
|
Day 10
|
Difference
|
Day 24
|
Total Difference
|
|
Weight
|
216 pounds
|
208 pounds
|
-8 pounds
|
202 pounds
|
-14 pounds
|
Neck
|
15 inches
|
14.5 inches
|
-.5
|
14 inches
|
-1
inches
|
Chest
|
48 inches
|
45.5 inches
|
-2.5
|
44 inches
|
-4
inches
|
Bra Size
|
42DDD
|
N/A
|
N/A
|
38DD
|
N/A
|
Waist
|
42 inches
|
37 inches
|
-2
|
35 inches
|
-7 inches
|
Hips
|
49 inches
|
47 inches
|
-2
|
45 inches
|
-2
inches
|
R Thigh
|
28.5 inches
|
27 inches
|
-1.5
|
24.5 inches
|
-4
inches
|
L Thigh
|
28 inches
|
27 inches
|
-1
|
24 inches
|
-4
inches
|
R Arm
|
15 inches
|
14 inches
|
-1
|
13 inches
|
-1
inches
|
L Arm
|
15.5 inches
|
14 inches
|
-1.5
|
13.75 inches
|
-1.25
inches
|
Total
Lost
|
-24.25 Inches
|
I have
gone from a 20W to something smaller than a 16W (I wear dresses all the time
now because I don’t want to buy new dress pants until I absolutely have to for
the next school year). I am still a plus-size woman and I still have a couple
of rolls from my 4th Trimester body (Okay, my unhealthy eating
body). I did notice little things on the latter part of my 24 Day Challenge: my
coworkers (and students) were commenting on my noticeable change in shape and
energy, sitting in the swing at the playground was more comfortable, and I
could wrap a regular size towel around my whole body for the first time in 15
years.
Advocare was not about achieving a
miracle and becoming the Barbie that I used to crave being; it was about
changing my life and becoming healthy. I will continue this journey for the
rest of my life, but the difference is that I now have support and guidance
from fellow Advocare Advocates and the knowledge to fuel my body with what it
needs. Most importantly, I have the ability to teach my son a way to love
himself through nurturing his heart, mind, and body.
Until next time, LIVE LOUDLY!!!!
P.S. I still have the awesome Dr. Who shirt, but I have to wear a tank top under it now because it hangs on me so differently now.
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